Enduring America: Your #1 Site for Republican Teabagging (with Updates!)

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LIBERAL TEABAGGING SABOTAGE UPDATE (10 p.m. British Teabag Time): Enduring America regrets to confirm that liberal saboteurs have out-Teabagged our Republican friends, forcing the end of the Washington DC protest:

Secret Service officers were scurrying to close the North Lawn of the White House Wednesday afternoon because of a suspicious package and it appeared that trouble was brewing.

But it turned out that nothing more was brewing than an innocent little box of, yes, tea bags.

Journalists were quickly banned from moving outside of the press briefing room, and hundreds of protesters gathered for a "Tax Day Tea Party" were quickly shooed out of Lafayette Park as a security robot inspected the package closely.

After about a half hour of high alert, a Secret Service official told CNN the "suspicious package" was merely some tea bags. So the threat was over, and so was the anti-Obama protest.

We fear that we may have may have misunderestimated our liberal/radical/taxifying opponents' expertise and experience with Teabagging. Next time we must ensure that we, and not they, are the ones who "Teabag Obama".

TERRORIST TEABAGGER UPDATE (7:20 p.m.): Police have cleared Lafayette Park after a liberal/radical/taxifying agent provocateur threw teabags over the White House fence.

It is clear that the Terrorist Teabagger is an infiltrator, since Republicans would never try Teabagging through wire mesh.


NOT A DOUBLE-ENTENDRE UPDATE (6:30 p.m. British Teabag Time): "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher, reporting for Pajamas TV, gets a scoop: a protestor asks if "he would like to waterboard Obama".

We do hope that this is a genuine Teabagger advocating torture of the President, and not a devious liberal trying to slip in a sexual allusion.


MEGA-URGENT UPDATE (6:05 p.m. British Teabag Time): And we're off! More than 300 Teabagging Parties have begun across the United States. The biggest mass Teabagging is in Lafayette Square in Washington, D.C. with a million teabags involved.

But we assure you that sutiable Teabagging precautions are being taken: "Organisers promised to put the bags on tarps and clean up afterward so as not to make a mess."

SUPER-URGENT UPDATE (15 April in Teabagging Britain): We're #2! Enduring America has vanquished the villainous Rachel Maddow, despatching her to Google limbo. Now to topple "The Young Turks" to claim our rightful status as Top Republican Teabagging Party Site....

URGENT UPDATE (7:25 p.m. British Teabag Time): For you first-time Teabaggers, Republican National Committee Michael Steele is ready to help. Half-politician, all-man, Steele has not two but four virtual teabags you can lay on your Teabag-ee of choice: President Obama, Vice President Biden, Senate Leader Harry Reid, or Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

Actually we're #3 on Google for "Republican teabagging" behind the YouTube videos of "The Young Turks" and MSNBC's Rachel Maddow, but we're hoping to become the #1 legitimate site by the time of the Teabagging Parties on Tax Day tomorrow. This is because:

1. We do not think the Young Turk and Ms Maddow are Republicans.
2. We are certain that the Young Turk is not from America, which of course is where Teabagging protest was established.
3. There is a possibility that Ms Maddow is a lesbian, which should disqualify her from any comment on the morality and good sense behind Teabagging.

Indeed, the latest video from Ms Maddow is a shameful slur on Teabagging Parties:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNXuSJwDwco[/youtube]

We are horrified by Ms Maddow's claim that Teabagging is a creation of FreedomWorks, funded by right-wing billionaires and led by the former Republican Senator Dick Armey, when our protest is that Teabagging is for everyone.

And Ms Maddow is clearly trying to tarnish us when she (and her guest Anamarie Cox, who we also think might be suspect) implies that we have naively claimed Teabagging --- in contrast to the non-Teabag legitimacy of the libertarians behind Representative Ron Paul --- as a shallow political swipe at President Obama.

We dissent. There is nothing naive about Enduring America's promotion of Teabagging. We do not believe it should be shallow: our Teabagging protest is full-throated.

This is our battle cry: when you Teabag tomorrow, do it for and with Enduring America.