Last-Minute Christmas Gift of the Year: The Paul Ross Print

"It's like having a picture of a lovely besuited Jesus drinking a glass of mineral water on your kitchen wall."

Paul Ross is a relatively minor British television and radio presenter, currently featuring as the host of Most Haunted Live! and show business reporter for This Morning after his stunning performance as Team Captain in Celebrity Fit Club. He also has a movie career, having played Colonel Mattel in the 1989 classic Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.

Paul unfortunately suffers from the inconvenience that his younger brother Jonathan is a very major televison and radio presenter for the BBC. However, he has now struck back by putting 12 x 20-inch canvas prints of himself on sale on Amazon.This in itself would be quite unremarkable, were it not for the feast of customer reviews, almost 100 at last count, that have cropped up on Amazon in the last two weeks. Apparently "buyers" have found that Paul's print exorcises demons, cure infirmities, and helps the young ones sleep at night.



Just consider: "Since Da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa has any smile been more enigmatic than this?" "At an amazing 20 pence per square inch, Mr. Ross has never been such good value for money." "If you only buy one 20 inch canvas print of Paul Ross this year, this is the one to get."

I realise, dear reader, that you may now be panicking that, given the attention this wondrous gift is now receiving, you may be too late to buy one and place it under the tree for your beloved. Fear not --- I took the liberty of purchasing a job lot of 50 prints, each of which awaits the right home for the Christmas season.

Happy Holidays and Happy Shopping!