Iran Media Shocker: "US Military Helped Killed Princess Diana"

Never let it be said that the investigative reporters of Press TV, the Iranian regime's English-language outlet, are failing to do their job:

The US military may have played a role in the 1997 death of Princess Diana as she was campaigning for a worldwide ban on landmines.

Press TV broke this story --- presumably after months of dedicated research --- by discovering that a man named Noel Botham, has written a book, The Murder of Princess Diana. Botham has also penned "[Princess] Margaret, the Untold Story" --- presumably she was murdered --- and The Bumper Book of Useless Information. And he was the long-time European Editor of the National Enquirer, the US tabloid famous for stories like "Boy Trapped in Refrigerator Eats Own Foot".

Botham  explained to Iranian reporters that Princess Diana, during her visit to the US in 1997, succeeded in persuading  President Bill Clinton to vote in favor of a global ban on landmines at the Oslo Conference in September. But she was killed in a car crash on 31 August, and Washington voted against the ban less than three weeks later.

So this proves the US military helped kill "Diana, Queen of Hearts" or extinguished the "Candle in the Wind" or any other dramatically bad metaphor you wish to make.

Next week: US Military Helped Kill John Lennon for Marrying Yoko Ono