Wednesday
Jul212010
Iran's New Guidance: Good, Good Lovin' (But Only at Night)
Wednesday, July 21, 2010 at 15:46 
UPDATE 21 July: A complication (or is it an opportunity?) in our story, as Minister of Health Marzieh Vahid Dastjerdi has complained that couples do not want children and are waiting too long to start families. In Tehran and northern Iran, there is even a trend towards no children at all.May we humbly suggest a reconsideration and a bit of "Afternoon Delight"?
A bit of a setback for Iranian men (and for Iranian women? Read on and decide)....
After Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance had improved the look of its male population through prescription of the "right" haircuts (think 1980s, like the style worn by men's men and international singing sensation Wham! --- photo at left), the Government has taken away some of the rewards.
A minister in the Ahmadinejad Government said this week that "matrimonial intercourse" must only take place at special hours during the night to ensure healthy children.
Some in the audience were reportedly "embarrassed" and "surprised", given that the minister's expertise consisted of university study in Industrial Engineering and a Master's degree in Mathematics.
Still, the sexual calculus of the Iran Government means no more Afternoon Delight (cue cheesy 1970s song):
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xROCsagx1pQ[/youtube]
Reader Comments (10)
Dear EA staff,
i don't know why but in the past weeks and months you are reporting many news out of iran with sarcasm if noy cynism. i fully understand that some (if not the most news) must be dealt with irony and cynism in order to not get too mad about it. but then again I have the feeling it lowers your journalistic quality. please do not let it to be too much of a style and concentrate on your great coverage of the news rather than "how" to report those news.
Just another constructive thought,
Ramin
Ramin,
Sigh. It's summertime.
And don't forget the Jihad Monkey - that news did NOT come out of Iran ! :-)
Matrimonial Security Watch
NAJA commander Ahmadi Moghaddam said: soft war aims at religious culture of society. Rise of divorce rates and age of marriage are new issues of security forces! http://www.ilna.ir/newstext.aspx?ID=135880" rel="nofollow">http://www.ilna.ir/newstext.aspx?ID=135880
To Ramin: This is certainly not a joke.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but can I wear my sunglasses at night? Where does the Prophet stand vis a vis ballin'?
I actually feel the ability to treat with a sense of humor versus harsh judgement is of benefit to all of us.....
As ABBA said Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man after Midnight)
With regards, Ramin, news from EA is often focused on brutal repression, unjust executions, poor health of the Evin prison population, and the bitter realities of world politics. I agree that it is always a risk when you mix humor with news, and I think EA has been a good mix of both, but used sparingly... well, it's what keeps EA readers from developing drinking problems and jumping off the roof.
Sometimes, the news is just so terrible that you have to laugh :)
Ramin
Eventually, a VERY good piece of news will come out of Iran. Nearly all of us here are waiting for it. When it does arrive, I am sure it will be a highlight of this site.
Barry
Seriously?? I mean really?
Great piece!
Re: “A minister in the Ahmadinejad Government said this week that “matrimonial intercourse” must only take place at special hours during the night to ensure healthy children.”
The article on Aftab News is from 1 September 2005 (11 Shahrivar 1384) not July 2010.
Also it says that the nameless minister has a bachelors degree in Mathematics and masters in Industrial Engineering. I am wondering if this makes him/her more qualified than if he/she had a bachelors degree in Industrial Engineering and a masters in Mathematics.
Does anyone know what that genius is up to these days?
More importantly, does anyone know what these fateful hours are supposed to be?
Are they subject to seasonal, longitude or latitude change?
Would the passing of 5 years since the remarks were made, have any effect on the auspicious times?
Is there going to be legislation to ensure strict adherence to the correct times?
What will be the punishment for not sticking to the correct hours?
Will there be prizes for adhering to the correct times? If so, what?
And why has Aftab News posted a photograph of woman without hejab?
…
Ramin,
One solution to the problem you’re referring to would be get such geniuses to keep their pie holes firmly shut. That way we’ll all be happier.
Regards,
Verde