Iran's New Guidance: Good, Good Lovin' (But Only at Night)

UPDATE 21 July: A complication (or is it an opportunity?) in our story, as Minister of Health Marzieh Vahid Dastjerdi has complained that couples do not want children and are waiting too long to start families. In Tehran and northern Iran, there is even a trend towards no children at all.



May we humbly suggest a reconsideration and a bit of "Afternoon Delight"?

A bit of a setback for Iranian men (and for Iranian women? Read on and decide)....

After Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance had improved the look of its male population through prescription of the "right" haircuts (think 1980s, like the style worn by men's men and international singing sensation Wham! --- photo at left), the Government has taken away some of the rewards.

A minister in the Ahmadinejad Government said this week  that "matrimonial intercourse" must only take place at special hours during the night to ensure healthy children.

Some in the audience were reportedly "embarrassed" and "surprised", given that the minister's expertise consisted of university study in Industrial Engineering and a Master's degree in Mathematics.

Still, the sexual calculus of the Iran Government means no more Afternoon Delight (cue cheesy 1970s song):

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xROCsagx1pQ[/youtube]

Iran's Haircuts Special: The Revenge of the Mullets

There has been tremendous interest in our coverage of Iran's new guidelines for appropriate haircuts for men, identifying transgressors such as Imam Ali, Shi'a Islam's first Imam.

Well, our EA hair correspondents --- always a cut above the rest --- have this update. It appears that a Million Mullet Army (mullet: a hairstyle that is short at the front and sides and long behind) is being formed to put the case for the men's look that is "business in the front, party in the back".



There are some powerful backers of this hirsute challenge. It's high times again for US musical icon ("Achy Breaky Heart") Billy Ray Cyrus, a.k.a. Hannah Montana's Dad:

Proving that England footballers still have some purpose in life, Mr Chris Waddle is on-board:


But the heartbeat (hair-pulse?) of this movement is, of course, Mr and Mrs America (joined by Little Androgynous Child America):

Iran's New Haircut Law: First Culprit Identified!

On Monday, EA helped break the news that Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance had unveiled the "proper" haircuts that should be sported by Iranian men:



Now EA's hard-working Iranian correspondents bring you an exclusive. The Iranian authorities have already posted a photograph of the first rule-breaker....



The suspect, we understand, is one Imam Ali. So far, it is unknown whether Iranian officials will accept the defense that, since the accused is the first Shi'a Imam, he might know a thing or two about whether shoulder-length hair and Islam can live together peacefully.