Anti-American Euro-Weenie Alert: Polish Piano Player Really Mad at US

Enduring America, your defender of all good and manly things red, white, and blue, brings you the latest story of Euro-betrayal:

A Polish fella named Krystian Zimerman is apparently a hot-shot concert pianist. He's tinkling the ivories in Los Angeles' Disney Hall (named, you will note, after a great macho American) last week when he stops and announces that he ain't playing no more. Seems he's a bit upset about American military policies.

The exact words were, "Get your hands off my country," which apparently is a reference to American plans to stick a missile defence system in Poland (along with a few bases and Burger Kings). Some European fifth-columnists cheered, but other true Americans yelled at Zimerman to shut up and keep playing or told him where he could his piano and our missiles.

To those who walked out, Zimerman commented, "Some people when they hear the word military start marching." It is unclear whether he played an appropriate martial tune, say, Toby Keith's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue".

Zimerman apparently is a repeat offender. He announced in 2006 that he would not return to the United States until George Bush was out of office, and at another performance, he denounced the Guantanamo Bay detention facility.

Don't worry, though. This guy's got some way to go before he catches up with us: US customs launched a pre-emptive strike
just after 11 September 2001 when they confiscated his piano and destroyed it because "the glue smelled funny".

And, while I'm playing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA", Mr Zimerman may also want to recall that, in 1989, a Ms Sinead O'Connor refused to sing the National Anthem at The Meadowlands in New Jersey. True red, white, and blue American Frank Sinatra threatened to "whip her a**".

And her career was never the same.